On a warm August night in 1989, I was traveling home from work when I noticed two police cars pass me at a high rate of speed. As I looked back in my rear view mirror, I paid no attention to them as they went on - until they turned around with their lights flashing heading my way. As they came closer I pulled my truck and equipment onto the side of the road and waited. All of a sudden, I heard and felt the impact of the crash.

Little did I know the police were chasing a triple homicide suspect. The suspect had his estranged wife as hostage and planned to kill her as well. However, she grabbed the steering wheel and headed for my truck at 85 mph.

I was then taken to the hospital with a serious back injury. As the pain killer flowed through my body, a "sleeping giant" was awakened. While lying on the hospital bed, my wife said, "You know you are a recovering addict, you can't handle drugs." My reply was "I'll be okay, I can handle it." But I couldn't. I had been clean and sober for about 12 years. I had turned my life over to my Lord Jesus Christ. I was a father of four wonderful children, three of which were planned home births to the Glory of God. They all were taught home school through a Christian-based curriculum for about ten years.

For five years, until my arrest in May 1994, I battled an addiction at the expense of my family, my friends, and almost lost my life through it. I blamed God. I blamed everyone. I blamed the man driving the car, the woman who caused the accident, even the police for not stopping the guy in time. Yes, I blamed them all as an excuse to use drugs. I wanted everyone to feel sorry for me. Sad, isn't it?

On May 22, 1994, things were about to change for the better. A 911 call was placed to the Sheriffs Department in Meridian, TX. "There's a man wandering in the middle of the road." When the police arrived there, I was unconscious and turning blue from an overdose. The police then rushed me to the hospital. Three days later, I woke up in ICU.

Yes, I had a near death experience. Yet God had mercy on me and allowed me to live. Then I was arrested, taken to jail and charged with illegal possession of drugs.

I was angry because I was alive and facing prison time. I started planning to take my own life. In my risk thinking, I didn't want my family to see me this way. But the Lord in His mercy spoke to my heart and said "Which is better, to take your life and leave your children fatherless and your wife without a husband - or to serve your time, get out and be returned to your family. I chose the latter. Praise God.

I've been in prison for over four and a half years, and am due to be released in just a few weeks. I've learned a lot about making the right choice. The Lord, who I love and serve, has forgiven me. My family has too. The man who was driving the car is in Texas death row - I've written to tell him I forgive him. His estranged wife who caused the wreck - I forgave her also. But finally, I've come to a place with the Lord's help to forgive myself. I've learned to quit blaming others, quit blaming myself, and to stop the self-pity.

I've learned to be a man of integrity, a man of character, and to be responsible through the Power of Jesus Christ working in my life. Each day I can choose to succeed or fail. The seeds of a person's victories are hidden in his adversities. Thank God for His love, mercy and grace. I am a life that's being changed into the image of His son, Jesus Christ. Through our adversities, we do have a choice to succeed and grow, or to fail and die.

Make the right choice.

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